ever-present now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now
May 2023 be the year we’ve been working toward and waiting for – do it!!
….Ok, how?
I’m not so good at calendar resolutions. Hoping doesn’t bring results. Wanting to improve, to shift something, though nice, is not the same as choosing to do so. For to choose action some of us have to first be aware of what we are even going after.
….Ok, how?
The past several years have been table flippers and noodle cookers for many of us. At times we all tune things out emotionally, psychologically or physically to survive the day to day.
Wanna talk CV, MK, JFK or any other supposed “conspiracy?” No problem, pass me a piece of that cake, let’s go.
Does my husband want to tell me what he really thinks about the way I ______ (fill in the blank)? Awesome, yes lets talk about it, help me improve. Open to seeing, sharing and learning.
My fuzzy spot is in the material realm, the world of stuff bringing my home down, like the Titanic, sinking from a burden of repair projects like lopsided chairs, fried electronics and broken auto parts (garbage). As well as things that can in theory be repurposed in some mysterious way like raggy sheets, disintegrating books, empty plastic orange juice containers, and cardboard boxes (also garbage).
Am I really going to teach myself to macrame with all that neon colored string cut off the hay bales? The time has come to face the truth.
‘Just throw it away.’ But really, there is no away.
We’ve work so hard to keep things out of the waste stream we ARE the waste stream. S O S!
And honestly I think there is also a strain of fear, of such a dystopic future where we will be grateful to have a pile of junk to search through for buttons or knobs or wiring, that we tend to hold on to the broken for that worse .05% chance scenario. Bah.
And really might my brain also be holding on to faulty familiars, old programming and ideas that no longer serve me, safe refuse, cluttering up the corners of my mind in loops, to distract from different ways of expressing or looking for solutions, from taking risks on something new? How does this pile up happen, by not dealing with each little piece of thought trash as it comes in?
Christmas week was flu week for both of us – tired, achy, spacey, lumping around slightly disconnected. A simple search for tissue meant maneuvering through useless stacks and piles and cases, so inconvenient, so ridiculous, I was snapped out of my daily survival game of excuses, not just seeing but downright knowing that inch by inch this creep of junk has been taking over my house.
We consider flu and fever as burning the cellular trash, to free up energy for building health and strengthening immunity. Nature’s update. If it was time for our bodies to ‘clean house’ maybe it’s time for the house to clean house too, and make room for the unbroken, the useful, or even nothing at all but space to breathe.
Maybe abundance isn’t having stuff, it’s having what you need when you need it. We can’t even find what we have when we have it!
So instead of some day or later, now is the time. Even without touching a bag or box I know I will recycle and repurpose what can be, and trust my amazing mother nature to breakdown the rest in her embrace. Instead of walking past that sink of dishes again, I’ll pause and do them. Instead of excuses for ‘later’ I actually turned off the TV to write this, and instead of waiting I will put it up as imperfect as it is.
Happy Now Year!